Leapers.
I wish Halloween was the only reason we saw ghosts as freelancers.
Unfortunately, the issue of ghosting is off the charts at the moment. Whilst ghosting has been long been a problem, in the past couple of years, freelancers have seen it happening and more and more often.
It’s not just a frustrating delay in you getting work - but can also massively negatively impact ones mental health, especially hitting confidence, as we ask “Is it something I said?” - not to mention adding workload chasing and wondering, or even turning down other work. All of which can lead to further anxiety or stress.
It sucks.
So, in this post, we ask what ghosting is, why it happens, what you can do to avoid it, and mitigate the emotional impact it has on us as freelancers.
What is ghosting?
Unfortunately, being ghosted isn’t something you might just have to deal with in dating. Far too many freelancers experience “ghosting”: where a client seems to entirely ignore your emails, calls and attempts to reach them.
Most commonly, this happens after applying for a role or submitting a job proposal.
Despite the hard work you might have put into a proposal, and despite your best efforts trying to get feedback, or even just a “sorry but no”, so you can move on with your life - nothing. No reply, no feedback, no answers to your messages.
Even worse though, is ghosting after a project has been completed, where project approval or sign-off is required, or worse, you’ve submitted an invoice, and you’ve not received any payment. You call, you email, but your communication prompts no response - perhaps leaving you without your invoice paid at all.
Almost every single freelancer I’ve ever spoken to has had to deal with ghosting at some point in their career - and I’d say it’s becoming a more common (and arguably accepted) practice.
Many freelancers will say it’s simply just part of the process, but personally, I think at best it’s disrespectful, at worse, illegal if they’re not paying your invoice.
Ghosting is a significant issue for small businesses. At best, it wastes our time, chasing for a reply. At worst, it means we’re left unpaid, and with a hole in our finances.
The reasons behind ghosting
Whilst we aren’t going to condone ghosting - it’s important to recognise that most of the time “it’s not you, it’s them - ghosting is less likely to be about something you’ve done wrong, and more down to a failure on the other side of the relationship.
1/ Workload
Many clients, especially during the stages of a project where a client is looking for a collaborator, can just be too busy and end up getting distracted by other priorities, and neglect to remember to come back to you. You’re not a priority, and their inbox keeps filling up ahead of their ability to reply to you.
Whilst it’s not a good enough excuse to not send you a reply - it’s a common reality that you might just be item 36 of 100 things they have to get around to.
2/ Emotional Avoidance
Many times, if you’ve provided a proposal for a piece of work which they’ve chosen not to proceed with, some people can feel awkward or avoid having to say “Sorry, but no”, leading to putting off getting in contact with you.
Again - this is no excuse, and a simple follow up would always be better than no reply at all.
3/ Internal Change
From time to time, internal stakeholders move on, and communication falls between the cracks, especially if internal process is poor.
This can often be the case in early stage ghosting, or indeed at the final stages of a project, especially if responsibility moves from one person to another.
4/ Lack of Process
This is probably a hugely common part of the problem - especially when it comes to applying for projects. For example, many people will post on LinkedIn asking for someone to apply to a project, using an email address or comments to capture interest - and without a good way of capturing people’s contact details, so they can easily reply once the role has been filled.
5/ Disrespect
The final reason is simply a lack of respect and professionalism. Despite having asked someone to put time and effort into something, they have got what they needed, and feel like they don’t need to continue to engage, or just aren’t thinking about the impact of their lack of action.
Putting things in place to avoid ghosting
Whilst you’re unlikely to be able entirely stop potential clients from ghosting you, there are some things you can do to reduce its likelihood, and reduce its impact.
Based upon conversations with freelancers, here’s what can help:
1/ When sending proposals, include a clear timeline for responses - whilst it might not help clients reply, having a clear “end-date” of when your quote expires, or when you expect to hear back from them, means you can emotionally move on if they haven’t replied by that date.
2/ Arrange the next meeting in the first meeting - schedule your next conversation ahead of time, rather than once you’ve provided your proposal, so there’s already something in the diary.
3/ Get a contract in place - make sure you have written contracts and agreements in place, so should your project proceed, your client is obliged to respond and pay, and you’re in a stronger position should they choose to walk away.
4/ Ask for a deposit - request a deposit as an upfront payment when your project starts, which helps the client commit to the work, and should they disappear, you’ve got some portion of your time and work covered.
5/ Build relationships in the business - don’t have a single point of failure, try to make sure you have other contacts in the business who you can talk to, should your direct contact disappear. This could be the finance team, for example.
6/ Diversify where possible - whilst giving up on a proposal is never easy, investing in multiple sources of income or new business helps to reduce the impact of a single project not converting.
Most importantly, respect your own time
One of the hidden impacts of ghosting is the negative impact it has on our own wellbeing. Once you’ve put aside the wasting of your time - the hit our confidence can take when someone doesn’t reply cannot be ignored.
We might ask ourselves “Is it something I said?”. A lack of reply might make us feel we’re not even worthy of a simple reply.
Our research shows that feelings of lack of confidence in freelancing are often very high, and taking a ghosted response as a signal that we aren’t “good enough” is all too easy.
So, it’s important to reframe what ghosting most often is.
Not a failure on your part, but a failure in communication, process and prioritisation.
9 times out of 10, it will be because the person on the other side of the equation is equally stressed, stretched thin, has too many things to do, or they’re simply feeling awkward when it comes to saying no.
It’s not you. It’s a symptom of most people in work, generally, being poorly supported.
Accept that ghosting is rarely about you - almost every time, it’s not personal.
This isn’t condoning or normalising or saying that ghosting is okay - it’s not, and work needs more human relationship building, not more automation or optimisation.
So putting in your own boundaries and limits is essential.
You need to be willing to walk away, and take back the imbalanced power dynamic.
After a few chases - if it’s about a project proposal: assume it’s a no, and move on.
If a client has been ghosting you for longer than four weeks, and you don’t have any debt to chase, it’s time to emotionally walk away, and move onto the next project.
HOWEVER, if you’re being ghosted when you’ve already done work and are expecting payment however, don’t accept this practice.
Remember, ghosting is a red flag
In many instances, being ghosted is possibly a good thing.
If they’re the sort of client who isn’t able to prioritise respectful communications with collaborators, just imagine what working together might have been like!
Whilst it’s hugely frustrating, freeing up your time to focus on respectful clients who are keen to work with you is a better use of time than chasing those ghosts who don’t have enough respect to reply.
What if you’re ghosted after work has been done?
In some instances, ghosting happens when you’ve started work or even delivered a piece of work.
For me, the term “ghosting” isn’t sufficient here, as this is a significant breach of contract and avoidance of payment.
It’s important to know your options if a client has ghosted you after delivery of work, and have things in place to defend against this situation from happening.
Make sure your contract says you’re still able to invoice for work even if they don’t approve it, or that your invoice is still payable, even if they don’t respond. Have process in place to reclaim debts, even in situations where they’re ignoring your emails.
Don’t forget there are laws which protect you from late and non-payments, and you have rights as a small business, to chase rightfully owed debts, and even charge interest and debt collection fees.
» Take a look at our guides on dealing with overdue payments here.
